Don't Call My Mamma A MILF! Them's Fightin' Words!

Last week, I tweeted this picture of my Mother and me at the nursing home visiting Granny.

One of my followers retweeted the picture and said: “Wow, Shydel, you’re Mother is a MILF!”

Lawd!

After I threw up in my mouth, the comment got me to thinking: My Mom needs love too.

A little about my Mom:

She gave birth to me and married my father when she was a senior in high school. She divorced him about four years later and began living life as a single Mother.

Growing up, she had a couple of steady boy friends. It was no revolving door by any means (my Mom wasn’t dabbling in hoshit), but whenever I was introduced to a guy, he was around for a while, years actually.

But it wasn’t until I left home for my freshman year of college that Mom met Buddy, the man who would become my stepfather.

I liked Buddy. We weren’t extremely close but we got along well and shared a mutual respect for my Mother and her happiness – and that was all right with me. And I slept well at night knowing that my Mom wasn’t alone and had someone there with her for protection and companionship.

All that changed in 2007 when they separated and she demanded asked him for a divorce after six years of marriage and ten years of being in a relationship together. The grounds of the divorce are still a bit sketchy to me, but whatever, I’m TEAM MOM all day everyday. So, if she wants a divorce, by all means, she should get one.

But secretly, I was crushed.

I knew there were some trying times in their marriage but I didn’t think Mom was ready to sign those papers.

When she kicked Buddy out asked Buddy to leave, I immediately began to worry: Who’s going to fix the leaky faucet under the sink? How will Mom get all her groceries in the house? What if someone breaks into her apartment while she’s in there alone?

*Sigh*

Needless to say, I picked up some of the slack but for the most part, Mom has been doing the damn thing.

I remember we had a mini-celebration when she replaced the toilet seat and showerhead all by herself. Sure, it sounds menial, but these were things Buddy had done for years, so in a sense, she was asserting her independence.

Now, with the divorce final and the novelty of being single and living alone slowly wearing off, Mom is starting to check out guys again.

This is where it gets weird.

There’s the Jewish man she's always talking about. He manages the ShopRite near her apartment. She says he’s really nice to her and keeps her abreast of when her favorite items will be on sale.

Um. There are circulars for that.

Then there’s the bus driver whom she says is “easy on the eyes.” She missed her bus stop once because they were busy “laughing and talking.”

Yeah. So. I’m gone need him to pay attention to the road and stop talking up my mamma!

And don’t get me started on the security guard who worked at her job. She pointed him out to me one day. I didn't bite my tongue.

“Ma, it looks like his breath smells like banana chips. You can do much better than that.”

*Double Sigh*

Here’s the thing: I’m not blind. I know my Mom is fly and doesn’t look like she’ll be 48-years-old in September. (She’d kill me if she knew I told folks her age and posted that picture of her without her hair done). And I also know she's no old maid. Hell, we're only 17 years apart. At 48, I hope to still be turning heads and getting it in myself.

But the thought of her flirting and jumping back on the dating scene makes me itch.

I liked things better when she was settled and married…but she wasn’t happy then.

See my quandary?

Oh. And did I mention I’m an only child, which means I’m spoiled rotten and used to receiving her undivided attention?

Ultimately, I want the best for my Mom, which means, sadly, I must let go and support her desire to date and hopefully experience love again.

I’ll listen with a filtered ear.

Respond to questions with an honest answer.

Badger any dude that’s lucky enough to be introduced to me.

And begrudgingly refrain from blowing up Mom's cell phone when I know she's out on a date.

Hmph.

But what I won't tolerate is anyone calling my Mamma a damn MILF. That’s where I draw the line. That's just rude!

To all my readers with single mothers: Is your mom out there looking for a guy to put a ring on it? How do you deal with her dating? Does she share her experiences with you? Am I the only one horrified by all this?

Can it be that it was all so simple then?