UPDATE: My Very First Best Friend - Part 2

A couple of months ago, I wrote a post about finding my very first best friend's mugshot on the New Jersey offender search website.  If you missed that post, you can read it here.

He's in jail serving four to seven years for multiple counts of drug possession. I decided to write him a letter.   He responded. Twice!

My first letter to him was a bit formal.  Remember, I hadn't seen or spoken to him in over 16 years.  I didn't know what kind of person he had become, what state of mind he was in or if he'd even remember me.  I wanted my first (and possibly last) letter to him to come off sincere, yet, respectful.

Not only did he know who I was, but he seemed thrilled to have heard from me.  He thanked me a few times for taking the time to reach out to him.  And I was ecstatic to know that being in jail had not broken his spirit.

In my reply, I went hard.  I asked him what happened and why he chose to make such bad decisions.  His reply:

"You wanna know what happened?  I don't ever make excuses as to why I lived the life I did.  Life is more less ten percent of what happens to you and ninety percent of how you react to it, so I can't blame the school I went to, the neighborhood I lived in, or the people I was around.  Everything I did was a result of my own decisions and I really don't regret nothing because it made me the person I am today.  I do regret some of the results and the outcome of a few of my actions but it is what it is, feel me?  It's all an experience though, nothing more, nothing less.  Believe me, my nigga, I could've been locked up forever or even dead for some of the shit I was into."

I've got nothing but respect for his response. 

Our banter wasn't all doom and gloom.  He did remind me of how he would come by my apartment to play video games and how I would let him and his girlfriend kiss after school in my hallway.  Oh, and how I used to invite our circle of friends over to watch pornos when my mom was at work.  Yes, I've been dabbling in hoshit since I was knee high to a beanpole.

I have to admit, these letters back and forth have done a lot for my spirit.  Despite the many years that have gone by and the vast differences in our life experiences, there's still a connection there.  It feels like old times when we were little boys walking home from school cracking on each other and just talking about trivial nonsense.  That makes me feel good!  And I love that his letters are handwritten and come via snail mail.  There's a sincerity - an authenticity - there that wouldn't be present in an email or typed letter.  Love it.

In his last letter he made two things clear to me: that he likes to get pictures because it helps take his mind off his surroundings and that he's reading everything that he can get his hands on - mind elevation - he likes to call it.  Man, he shouldn't have told me that.  I'm about to send him all kinds of shit to read!

He doesn't know this yet, but it's my plan to start a private book club with him.  Here's how it will work.  We'll take turns picking out books to read and write to each other about our thoughts on the material.  So, if there is a book he has access to in prison that he wants to read, I'll go out and buy a copy for myself.  For the books I'd like to read, I'll buy an electronic copy for my Kindle and a hard copy for him.  I'll even type out his response to the books we read and post them here on the blog.  I'll present the idea to him in my next letter and see what he says.

From what I can gather, he's simply looking for a positive connection to the outside world, away from the negativity of his past and his current environment, and if I can be that for him, then so be it.

I'll keep y'all up to date on our dialogue and potential book club.  It feels great to be reconnected with my homie!

To Be Continued...