Lounge Review: Stir

I have reservations!

That's what I yelled over the thumping bass of P-Diddy's "Hello, Good Morning" to the bouncer who was checking ID's at the door of Stir, a lounge on New York City's upper east side. He pointed me in the direction of the hostess at the bar. Sure, I had called ahead to reserve a table for two, but I was also referring to my sudden suspicion that this supposed night of laid-back martini tasting and appetizer nibbling had just taken a turn for the worse.

The raucous crowd spilling out of the door was my first indication that this was not the cozy lounge Stir portrays itself to be. Visit their website and you'll see pictures of plush pillows on comfy leather couches set against candle-lit brick walls, which give off a vibe perfect for first dates and catching up with friends over cocktails.

What I walked into was a boozy hoedown. Super drunk patrons were sliding small ottomans across a makeshift dance floor as they moved to the blaring music courtesy of... an iPod. Cigarette smoke drifted in from outside and lingered heavily in the air. Oh, and the hostess the bouncer directed me to knew nothing about my reservation. She had to get someone in charge.

Granted, it was St. Patrick's Day, but if you know your establishment turns into something straight out of a scene from Coyote Ugly on nights like this, then it would be best to advise Gilt City patrons making reservations for a martini tasting to come another day - or at least give them a heads-up of what to expect.

And about those martinis: they were just...okay. With almost two dozen specialty cocktails to choose from, I sipped on the blueberry martini made with Stolichnaya blueberry mojito, fresh blueberries, muddled limes and mint leaves. It had the potential to be great but was hampered by too much Stoli.

My next (and last) cocktail was the passion fruit martini, made with Skyy passion fruit, peach schnapps, orange, lemon and simple syrup. It was a light, crisp, refreshing choice. Unfortunately, this was the drink that my seemingly drunk waitress spilled all over the table. Slightly above average southwestern chicken rolls and supermarket freezer section-esque mozzarella sticks rounded out this night of mediocrity and disappointment.

With an address in one of New York City's most well-established neighborhoods, one would expect Stir to be on their A-game at all times - even on one of the busiest drinking nights of the year. Under no circumstances should a loud and rowdy crowd turn what is supposed to be a comfortable night of conversation over cocktails into a boisterous dive bar experience. An experience which left me shaken, not stirred.

Stir
1363 First Avenue
New York, NY, 10021